Yes, another BubbleTimer post. But this one is a little different. You see, someone suggested that it might be interesting if I wrote a more general post about exactly why I find it so useful. And I thought, actually, good point. I know what it is about Bubble Timer that makes it stand out for me, but I haven’t really expressed that here, just made update posts that are largely for my own reference.
I’ve always had a bit of a thing for time management books, software, websites… and lately this has mainly manifested itself in to do lists. But I have had real frustrations with them. They are brilliant when I’m at work. My tasks are “email so and so”; “take this form to that office”; “change this on the website”. They are each finite, definable tasks. Ones which you can make a realistic estimate about how much time they will take you. By and large, they don’t take too long, and you get the joy of ticking or crossing them off your list.
However, every time I have tried to use a to do list to keep track of my PhD it goes badly wrong. The tasks for the PhD are so much more amorphous, often much larger, and liable to change at no notice whatsoever. It’s one super-project (write PhD) made up of many very chunky projects (write chapter 1). These chunky projects can be broken down into smaller projects or rather large tasks (read and make notes on book A). These too can be broken down, if you so desire (go to library to get book A; read chapter 1 of book A). The problem for me is that the further you go down this path the more tasks you have to complete, and the more overwhelming the whole thing becomes — both to do, and to keep track of. There is no finite number of tasks, they tend to be still quite large, and very hard to make a time estimate for. A book you think you can skim over in half an hour turns out to be more useful than you thought and you end up spending the next three days reading it closely, for example. Basically, I end up either with so many tasks I want to crawl into a hole and cry for the next ten years; or such large tasks that I never feel like I make any progress and want to crawl into a hole and cry for the next ten years. And this is where Bubble Timer comes in.
Ultimately, the PhD is so much of my time, my thoughts, probably even my identity, that I don’t need a to do list. I know what needs to be done. I keep a list of books I need to get and/or read, but I don’t need a list of what I need to do with them. I just know this. The problem isn’t knowing what to do, it’s feeling like I’m doing it; feeling like I’m working, progressing; and that there really is light at the end of the tunnel. We’re back to that idea of spending three days reading a book and getting a couple of footnotes out of it. Important footnotes, probably, but footnotes nevertheless. It is hard to feel like you’re working and getting things done in these circumstances. And so what I get with BubbleTimer is that reassurance. I am working. Look, I worked on my PhD for four hours yesterday. Yes my word count on my Introduction increased a mere 150 words, but I spent four hours on it, and actually did a lot of research and read several articles. Perhaps more would be better, but I am working. I am progressing.
So, on the one hand, BubbleTimer gives me reassurance and perspective. What it also gives me is motivation. I have a goal of four hours a day (except work days and Sundays) that I want to complete of PhD work. And when I get to three or three and a half hours it is so much easier to do that last half hour or so, knowing that it will make me complete my goal. Completing this totally manageable goal (which, over time, I do plan to increase) makes me feel proud and joyful and, most importantly, accomplished. The other way it motivates me is that I can see what else I’m doing with my time. Combined with the sense that I’m not working very hard or very much has always been a sense that I just waste time. I spend hours looking at Facebook and Ravelry and generally just messing around on the internet, and I should behave myself so much better. Bad Penny! And actually, what I’m learning is that I don’t spend as much time aimlessly lurking about the web or watching television as I thought. Which deals with some of that PhD guilt, and motivates me to keep the time spent on these things to a reasonable amount.
I’m sure that I won’t always find BubbleTimer as valuable as I do now. These things don’t tend to work for you forever, but for the moment I am really happy with it. I’m actually enjoying it! Despite not having a list of things I need to do, I feel more on top of things because I can see where my time is going; I have the motivation to do just a little bit more before I stop for the day; and the knowledge that even though it doesn’t always feel like it, I am making progress with my PhD.
2 Comments
June 19, 2009 at 8:13 am
I think you have just summarised everything I feel about my PhD, which has been dragging on for a bit too long. I’m not anywhere near a library with the right books for me, so I can’t do my usual “go the library, sit down for a 9-5″ thing. And I am so bored with it all that anything is a welcome distraction (why, yes, I’ll do the dishes to hide from work!). Good luck, you’re not alone in fighting the big monster, we’ll get there eventually
June 20, 2009 at 8:13 am
I always think it’s very interesting how much PhD students have the same experiences…although oddly, at least part of the time, we all seem to feel like we’re the only ones!
I’m sure we will get there! No doubt a rough ride at times, but we can do it!